Wedding Programs

by Jen

I’m a huge fan of a la carte weddings. I love the blending of cultures, the freedom couples feel to choose the traditions that resonate with them, and the creation of new rituals to help couples express exactly what’s in their hearts. It’s one of the few things I get misty about.

The only drawback, of course, is that many of your guests won’t understand why the reading was from The Babysitters’ Club or what was going on with the interpretive dance and the garden gnome.

That’s why a wedding program can be a really nice idea. It’s a low-hassle addition to your wedding that can really enhance the ceremony for your guests. Here are a few guidelines I’ve found useful.

Go low-stress.
You don’t have to make the programs beautifully engraved keepsakes unless you’re really going big. They’ll be just as interesting and useful to your guests if you make them up on your computer and print them up on pretty (but readable) colored paper.

Help out the heathens.
Odds are you have guests from at least a few different backgrounds. Cool! Anyone who didn’t grow up with the same religious heritage will appreciate a few notes on what’s going on and why – especially if there are times when they’ll want to participate, like call-and-response sections.

Or they may just be interested to know why the different aspects of the ceremony are happening and what they mean. I think it wasn’t until I attended my third Jewish wedding that I got a program to help me follow along and answer all the questions I’d forgotten to ask at the other two.

Plus, I swear, as we were heading to the reception, a guy in a car pulled over and asked if that had been a traditional Jewish wedding, and when I said yes, he asked me about the origin of one of the traditions. I handed the program through the window and he drove off just as happy as I had been.

Use it to help edit your vows.
You both have a lot of things you want to say to your guests and each other. This throws a lot of pressure on your vows, and you already want them to be moving and pithy and easy to say. So write your vows as concisely and beautifully as you want, saying exactly what you want to say to your new spouse. Anything else you wish the rest of your guests could understand can go into the program. Bingo! Poetic brevity with no meaning lost.

Keep it short.
You don’t want your fascinating program to compete with your actual ceremony. Give ‘em the general rundown and let your guests ask questions later if they really need the inside scoop. Or they can hit the library or the Internet if they’re truly intrigued. Let them make their own fun.

Run it by your grammar fascist friend.
He or she may demur at first, but I promise that he or she will be secretly delighted to be able to do you a solid and destroy inappropriate apostrophes at the same time. This is his or her time to help the world by defending the language.

Have fun with it.
If you feel stiff while you’re writing your program, take a break and go back to it when you’re feeling more playful. Everyone who will read it already loves you, so you don’t have to impress anybody. It’s great to let your real personality shine through – it will give your guests a fun read and they’ll be even more likely to enjoy the program as a keepsake.

Get a 2nd opinion!
Love it!