What to Expect at an African-American Wedding

by Dani

The title to this article pretty much can’t help but be misleading. It’s sort of like saying “Here’s what all of Europe will be like.” African-American weddings often draw from a blend of traditions that vary heavily based on the tastes and upbringing of the bride and groom. So the wedding you’re wondering about may be a scrupulous following of a modern Ethiopian ceremony, a blend of old Yoruban symbolism and traditions developed by African-American slaves, or it might be just like the wedding you went to last week when your Irish-Argentine pal married his Japanese-American sweetheart. So really the best way to know what to expect is to ask the bride and groom.

That said, here are a few of the more common traditions you may see.

Libations
You may see the officiant pour a little alcohol to each of the four main points of the compass. This is to honor relatives who have passed on, and to open the way for any ancestors who would like to be present and bless the new couple.

Both families hand out some bread
Well, yes, you knew that, but they may do so in a literal sense as well. To symbolize that the two families have become one, members of the bride’s and groom’s families may feed each other bread to show their commitment to taking care of each other.

A taste of marriage
I really like this one. The bride and groom may be asked to taste cayenne pepper, lemon, vinegar, and honey. It’s to make the point that all marriages will have moments that are hot, sour, bitter, and sweet, and the new couple must expect and accept all of them.

Only nuts intervene in marital spats
The bride and groom may receive or exchange kola nuts, which are supposed to have great healing powers. In times of trouble, the nuts will help the couple heal and smooth out problems.

Jumping the broom
Jumping the broom is probably the tradition that’s best known outside of the African-American community. It’s also in some ways the most controversial. Some people cherish the tradition because they believe that the broom jump derives from a tradition from Ghana of shaking a broom over a new bride and groom’s heads. Others dislike it as a relic of slavery, believing the custom to have been imposed on slaves by whites to distinguish slave weddings from “real” ones. And still others like it because they believe it to be derived from an act of defiance, a way slaves created and marked permanent unions even though they were forbidden to do so. And yet more others dislike it because they believe it symbolizes the bride leaving her old house and submitting to doing chores for her husband…

If you’re planning a wedding and wondering about jumping the broom, what I just wrote was zero help and probably irritated you, right? Here’s the thing: There’s no written record anywhere to show where jumping the broom originated, so it all comes down to which arguing scholars you choose to listen to. And, bright and earnest though those scholars may be, to hell with them.

The beauty of symbolic acts – especially symbolic acts of which no one can possibly know the origin – is that you can make it mean whatever you want it to. Seriously. No one can say with any truth that he or she knows where wedding rings came from or what they mean either. So if you want to include jumping the broom, go to town.

You can look at it as sweeping away the old to make way for the new, or as a shared commitment to setting up and taking care of your new household, or as a leap into your new lives together. If you want to make sure everyone understands your meaning, have a small and inexpensive wedding program printed up. Your guests will enjoy it, and you won’t have to worry about people mistakenly thinking you’re really into curling.

If you’re attending a wedding where the bride and groom jump the groom, you mostly have to watch and enjoy. It’s possible that the bride and groom may ask you to help decorate the broom with ribbons or other decorations of their choosing. If they do, odds are they’re hoping to keep the broom as a keepsake, so make sure your decoration can be easily and firmly attached.

You may be asked to stand in a circle around the bride and groom, or they may just go ahead and do it while everyone is seated. They’ll let you know.

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