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What Brides Really Want: Real Communication about Finances
by editor
Special to OneWed by Dr. Taffy Wagner, Creator of "Money Talk Before The Commitment Walk and Debt Stops At The Altar"
Many couples have become engaged during the holiday season, and others will continue to get engaged even through February. The main thing that will be forefront in their minds is the wedding day.
Engaged women will think about all the bridal shows they can attend with family or girlfriends, looking through bridal magazines and watching various bridal shows on television to find out what they should and should not do. They will have many moments with their fiancés where they will talk about how they want the “big day” to play out.
Let me be brutally honest! All brides want happiness, security, and they want their marriage to last. The most important topics that can give brides what they want but often avoided is COMMUNICATING about MONEY. Yet, money is also one of the top reasons for divorce. Whether it is knowing how to manage money, a lack of money, or overspending, money is a crucial issue in every marital relationship.
There are two main questions you should ask at this time (I’m not saying these are the only ones prior to getting married that you should ask, because there are many) to give yourself a starting point:
Are there any old debts that you need to pay?
Many people are concerned that when they get married their spouse’s old debt will affect their credit.
Tip: When you unite in marriage, if you do not make joint purchases, then your spouse’s credit will not affect yours. If you choose to make joint credit purchases, then the person with the better credit score will be affected, and his or her score will go down.
Recommendation: Do not make any joint credit card purchase until the other spouse’s credit is cleaned up. This way if an emergency arises and you need a loan, the spouse with better credit will be able to get the loan and not penalized.
How would you rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 as a money manager?
One of the hardest eye-opening facts to share with someone is how you are as a money manager — whether you have paid all of your bills on time, have a history of slow pays, or have even had a bankruptcy. If you haven’t been perfect, this could paint a less than desirable picture of you to your future spouse. However, it can be a source of distrust if you walk down the aisle knowing you are not good at managing money and say “I do,” without telling your spouse. Suppose once you return from the honeymoon your spouse begins receiving bills he or she had no knowledge of. What do you believe the result of that would be?
Tip: Do not attempt to over analyze or guess how your fiancé is going to react when you share your money management habits. And don’t put off the discussion out of fear. Financial honesty can go a long way in your upcoming marriage.
Recommendation: Both of you should share how you managed money as single adults. Then formulate a game plan together for managing money in your marriage.
If you do not discuss money prior to walking down the aisle, truly your marriage could end up in a “financial tug-of-war.” Begin talking about money today. Establish your marriage on financial harmony instead of financial stress and discord.
"Money Talk Before The Commitment Walk and Debt Stops At The Altar" is a financial education programs that teaches couples how to communicate about money in a non-threatening manner, in the privacy of their home, and throughout the lifetime of their marriage. www.DebtAtTheAltar.com
