The Accidental Flower Girl and Ring Bearer (a story with a lesson for you)

Posted by Azure on June 4th, 2010
Over the next month you may hear more out of me about children in the wedding party.

That's because my daughter is about to live her six-year-old dream of being a flower girl. Her little brother is going to live his, well, he's going to help her live her dream by walking next to her as the ring bearer.

Not only do they get to live her dream, they save their mother from committing one of the worst wedding faux pas, bringing uninvited children to a wedding!

Here's what happened. Several months ago one of my favorite cousins announced his engagement and a wedding date of July 17th. It's not a destination wedding, but he lives on the other side of the country from me, so for us it is. I called and asked him if the date was definite and if the kids were invited. I wanted to find out early so that we could use frequent flier miles to get there.

He said yes to all of the above, we bought our tickets and planned our summer around a trip to the Pacific Northwest (YIPPEE!).

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, um, turns out that because the wedding is on a boat, it's an adults' only event.

Given that I write an advice column where I tell people what to do and not to do at weddings, I was mortified at the idea that I had turned into one of those people who brings their kids places that they aren't welcome. But I had bought plane tickets to take them to a part of the country where I didn't know any babysitters!

I talked to my cousin's fiancée, she talked to the boat and it turns out that it actually is ok for a few kids to attend, and she had secretly wanted a flower girl and ring bearer, and well, since I'm quite a bit older than my cousin and his bride-to-be, they don't really have a lot of friends with kids and now voila, my kids are in the wedding.

Why am I telling you all of this? Remember the first part of the story where I said that my cousin said the kids were invited? Would your groom do something similar? I should have known better than to just ask the groom since before my own wedding my mother-in-law regularly gave people the wrong information on everything from location to time.

You can't be everywhere, and many of your guests will try to avoid asking you questions directly, not wanting to bother you. But, there are some things you can do to prevent mishaps like this. • Set up your wedding website with relevant info, as soon as possible • Talk about likely questions with anyone who might get asked them (parents, groom, maid of honor) • Think about making up a cheat sheet with the answers to these questions Helpful Links Start Your Wedding Website Our Wedding Advice Column Adorable Flower Girl Dresses and Accessories
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