The Man Registry: Popping the question (before you pop the question)

Posted by Azure on April 1st, 2009
About The Man Registry

Grooms, if you’re planning on taking the traditional steps for your engagement and wedding planning – one thing you can’t leave off of the “to-do” list is asking her father for permission.

As with any tradition, modern times have sort of diminished the importance of this act, but don’t underestimate how important this is to the parents of the bride. Put yourself in her father’s shoes. His little girl is getting married and he has to give her away. Don’t you think that this is going to be a little less painful if he respects and is respected by her husband-to-be?

Sure, it will be nerve-wrecking and maybe a little awkward to put yourself out on the line with your future father-in-law. It might be easier to imagine this as a job interview. You need to sell him on why you’re going to be a good husband and that you realize how important and sacred marriage is. If you don’t know him all that well yet, this is also a great time to tell him more about yourself. Who knows how many of the same hobbies you may have. You might even end up with a new golf partner (you’ll have to let him win of course).

Here are some common questions that grooms ask us about popping the question (to her pops): Should I ask her mom as well? There’s nothing at all wrong with asking your future mother-in-law for permission. In fact, this is becoming much more common today. We do, however, recommend making a point to do something special with her dad. Take him out to lunch, fishing, or on a golf trip (on you, of course) to thank him for supporting you. Can I do this over the phone? One word: no! This is a big deal to the parents and you need to make an effort. If you live far away, come up with something original or coordinate a trip to see them. What do I tell them? We can’t write a script for you, champ. But, let’s just say it would be a good idea to tell them why you want to marry their daughter and make sure they know marriage is a one-time thing for you. TMR Recommendation: If you’re at all considering not asking for permission, picture this: How did you feel the last time your buddy borrowed your pitching wedge or your Wii remote without asking…….. yea, that’s what we thought.

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