Real Wedding Challenges: Moving On

Posted by Azure on September 25th, 2009
On the last Friday of every month Real Wedding Challenges introduces you to a real married couple that worked through a challenge (or two, or three) in planning their wedding.
The groom gives the beautiful bride in her sleeveless white wedding dress a kiss on the forehead.

Since these couples are no longer in the midst of planning a wedding, we think you’ll find their solutions and perspectives refreshing. The Couple:

Margalit, 34, C.O.O., medical equipment business

Lee, 36, collections manager Wedding date and location: May 26, 2002, School of the Art Institute, Chicago How They Met: In August 2001, Margalit was living and working in L.A. A friend called to say a friend of his from England was visiting for two weeks and that she should come over and play backgammon. Margalit showed up on day two of Lee’s visit, he decided to visit more with her than with the friend he had come to see. He left after two weeks, and the couple stayed in touch, with Margalit visiting England shortly thereafter. Lee came back to the states in October and proposed in November. In March, they moved to Chicago, Margalit’s hometown, and set off on a seven-week trip, they were married in May 2002. Planning the Wedding: Margalit was a young widow. She had eloped the first time, and this time she wanted to have a wedding her family could attend. However, she and Lee also wanted to start a family soon, and so they wanted to take time to travel the world before the wedding. Because the couple was traveling during the time most of the details would need to be finalized, Margalit turned much of the wedding planning over to her mother and sister. The Wedding: It was important to Margalit and Lee to have a nice wedding, but they did not want or need a “perfect” wedding. Since Margalit’s family is not originally from the States, and Lee was a recent immigrant, they felt freed from certain wedding conventions. The most important thing to Margalit (other than the groom) was the music.“London Calling” was played for the groom’s march down the aisle, and Margalit made sure she had a chance to play the drums at the reception. Margalit’s sister, Roslyn, a childhood friend, Rachel, one of Lee’s sisters, Mich, and Margalit’s stepdaughter from her first marriage, Courtney served as her bridesmaids. Having the four of them next to her, as well as involving other friends from her first relationship, provided a transition and a connection between the various parts of her life. As Margalit says “Life is life, it continues, it’s a journey. You can’t predict or control it, you just have to navigate through it.” Were there any regrets?

Having eloped the first time, and left most of the planning to her mother and sister the second time, Margalit says she might like to be more involved in the planning, just to experience it. While she was thrilled with both weddings, there are two things she would have changed. The first is that she did not have a rehearsal for her hair and makeup. The makeup artist was used to working in the theater, and Margalit felt a little overdone. The other was that she did not have a videographer for the wedding. Margalit says, “At the time, it seemed sort of tacky and frivolous to have the wedding recorded, but now, I think my kids might like to see it.”

Strangely, the couple does have a video of a portion of their wedding. It turns out that an uninvited guest snuck into the wedding, videotaped it from behind pillars and mailed it to them! What was the best advice you were given?

Margalit says, “My mother wanted us to have a day of coordinator. At the time I didn’t completely understand the value, but now I do. It really freed up Lee, my mother, and myself to enjoy the day.” What advice do you have for others?

Make sure that there’s joy at your wedding. It doesn’t matter what goes right or wrong, just relax, go with it, and have fun. Update: Margalit and Lee still live in Chicago, where their third child was recently born. Margalit is still close friends with her stepdaughter Courtney, who is recently engaged.

The beautiful bride plays the drums, making her wedding reception truly memorable.

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