Queerly Wed’s Advice for Attending a Gay Wedding

Posted by Azure on October 19th, 2009
Special to OneWed by Melissa Johns of QueerlyWed

If you’ve been invited to a gay or lesbian wedding, the couple considers you a welcome and important guest on their big day. However, not everyone who is invited to a same-sex wedding is comfortable with the idea. As with any wedding, you should only attend if you can do so respectfully.
These two grooms look handsome and stylish in their matching morning suits with grey ties. Choosing

If you’ve been invited to s same-sex wedding and have some hesitations, you may want to give some thought to these topics: • Are you uncomfortable with the idea of same-sex marriage?

If so, you may want to consider why you are uncomfortable. If it is due to religious reasons, consult your pastor, priest, or religious leader. You may also want to look for books on the topic. If you are uncomfortable because it’s your first time dealing with it, talk about it with your spouse or your friends. You can also talk to people from P-FLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). This is a well established organization that has provided support and a sounding board for many over the years. If in the end you decide you truly cannot accept the union, it may be best that you don’t go to the wedding. •If attending a wedding of two women or two men, you may be curious about what they will wear.

Two dresses? Two tuxes? Don’t ask. Just bite your tongue until you see the answer for yourself. Asking that question is considered rude because it insinuates that each plays a “role” in the relationship. • Are you worried that you might be hit on by someone of the same sex? Let’s be realistic about this: do you get hit on all the time by people of the opposite sex? If it happens, don’t panic. Someone thinks you are attractive. Granted, it may not be from someone you would date, but there is no need to freak out. Politely explain that you aren’t interested, and leave it at that.

Have you attended a gay wedding? Melissa Johns and Stacy Jacobs are an engaged couple. They run QueerlyWed.com, the premier nationwide directory of queer friendly businesses for people planning their wedding or commitment ceremonies. To be listed as a vendor or if you have general questions or comments, contact us!
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