We’ve all been there. While planning your wedding, you get caught up in the tedious minutia of arranging every last detail of the big day when it happens. You say something to your groom-to-be that you really wish you hadn’t, and a terrible fight ensues. (Of course, eventually, he’ll say something equally insensitive to you – does bridezilla sound familiar?) So how can you keep your composure when the wedding world around you seems to be caving in?
First, take a deep breath, and then start tackling your to-do list in bite-size chunks (instead of obsessing over all of the things you still have to do) and make sure to celebrate whenever you cross something off the list to avoid getting overwhelmed.
And, when it comes to the man who’ll be standing next to you on the wedding day (who is probably nearly as stressed as you are at this point), try to avoid the following statements:
#9- Let’s go to a wedding show today. What do you mean there’s a football game on in 30 minutes? Who cares about sports when we have a wedding to plan? (Consider a compromise instead. Spend an hour at the wedding show and get home in time to see the game.)
#8- Do you even care about this wedding? (He does. He just has a hard time focusing on it 24/7—give him some space.)
#7- Your mother is insane! She absolutely cannot wear white to the wedding! (You may have a point here, but try not to call her insane!)
#6- If you don’t help me with (fill-in-the-blank), I’ll scream! (Try a calmer approach instead. “Honey, you’re always the life of the party. Can you tackle finding our wedding band?”)
#5- What’s wrong with a pink tie, vest and cummerbund for you and the groomsmen? Real men wear pink. (Try a compromise—champagne, perhaps?)
#4- You want to invite your ex to the wedding? Are you crazy? (If you don’t want exes at the wedding, say so—calmly—and he should understand.)
#3- Your best man is such a jerk. Can’t we get someone—anyone—else to fill in? (Avoid name calling, and ask him to keep his best man on a tight leash, if necessary.)
#2- If you don’t care about the flowers in our wedding, you won’t care about making our marriage work! (Actually, he probably just doesn’t care about the difference between roses and ranunculus. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. Enlist a bridesmaid for help on the flowers.)
#1- I’m calling off this wedding! (Whatever you do, don’t say this! Calm down and try to have a heart to heart with him about what’s on your mind.)
And here are a few things you should say, to keep his head in the (wedding) game:
• Thanks so much for your help planning this wedding—I couldn’t do it without you.
• Want to take a break from all this wedding stuff and have the guys over to watch the game?
• Want a back rub?
• Let’s watch “Rudy” again. We’ve already seen “Father of the Bride” three times this month.
• I love you and I can’t wait to marry you!
• Let’s elope in Vegas…right now!
What things have you said to your groom that really set him off? Help future brides avoid making the same mistakes!