Live In Sin or Save It For Marriage?

Posted by Azure on January 25th, 2012

I was excited to tackle this topic because growing up in a strict Catholic household, I had “save yourself for marriage” (and everything that goes with it) drilled into my impressionable head.  Having a child out of wedlock would shame you and your family, and moving in with your significant other before tying the knot was “living in sin”.  Or so they said.

While I can respect this older school of thought, my personal opinion is that I’d never, ever marry someone without living with him first.  But to be fair, let’s take a look at the pros and cons on both sides:

LIVING IN SIN

Pros

  • You get to see the good, bad and ugly before taking the plunge.  And if the pre-marital sneak peek is too terrifying for you to take, you have plenty of time to pull the plug before walking down the aisle.
  • You get a real taste of what it will be like to be married, farts, warts, and all.
  • You can begin to learn the ins and outs of your partner’s routine and vice versa.  This makes for a less shocking adjustment period after the wedding.
  • You can return home from your honeymoon to a lived-in, comfortable environment.

Cons

  • Someone is getting the milk without buying the cow.
  • Some say that the main reason a man gets married is to take a woman off the market.  If this is true, and you are living together and waiting for a proposal, you might not want to hold your breath.
  • More time for your partner’s quirky habits to get under your skin.  But hey…at least you can start preparing for what is to come!

SAVING IT FOR MARRIAGE

Pros

  • You don’t shame your family by living in sin.  Just kidding.
  • The excitement doesn’t stop after the honeymoon.  Because you still have playing house to look forward to.
  • You get to create a home together, instead of squeezing one person’s life into the other partner’s space.
  • You get to look forward to all the wonderful times you will experience when you share a home for the very first time.

Cons

  • You forfeit your test run and are going into things blind.  And unless you know your partner very, very well, the fairytale could go south in a hurry.
  • You are faced with the task of moving in and combining lives the moment you step off the plane after your honeymoon.
  • If this is your first time around the roommate block, you might not be prepared for the concessions and sacrifices you’ll surely have to make.

What do you think?  If you had to pick a side—living in sin or saving it for marriage—which side would get your support?  And in this day and age, do you think the majority of couples do share a home before getting hitched?  We asked our fabulous guest blogger, The Broke-Ass Bride, to weigh in, and here is what she had to say– Living together pre-wedding will make your first year of marital bliss a lot more...blissful. There's a learning curve to living with a person, and you don't want your post-honeymoon glow totally destroyed by disputes about leaving towels on the floor. Also - there are things that people do in the privacy of their own homes that (let's face it) might be deal breakers and it will help you build skills in compromising. You'll want to know about such quirks well in advance of your wedding.

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