The Blogger Bride

by editor
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I was kind of shocked when I finally figured out how many personal bride blogs there are. Not that we aren’t savvy gals who are full of opinions. It’s just that I couldn’t believe so many of us wanted one more thing to do.

But it isn’t a bad idea at that. The bride blogs are a cool way to vent frustrations and ask for advice. It’s also a way to help out your sisters in white. It’s kinda nice – in a society where lots of people don’t really have big networks of female family members anymore, we’re forming chick communities.

It can help just knowing that other women are dealing with the same stresses or weirdnesses. A little reassurance that you’re not nuts and your family isn’t as bizarre as you maybe thought.

And I do like checking out bride blogs for ideas. Because using a variation on a friend or a sister’s idea in your own wedding? Not cool. But taking inspiration from someone who lives several states away and knows none of your friends? Kind of OK.

If you’re thinking of starting a bridal blog of your own, hey, why not? It’s easy and free. Try blogger.com, blogspot.com, or livejournal.com. You can set up your space in minutes. Here are a few things to think about while you get your fingers limbered up.

Protect your privacy.
The first thing you need to think about is whether you’re going to blog anonymously or not. If you blog as yourself, it’s easy to set up a journal that’s only viewable by approved family and friends. On the other hand, that means you’re going to be a little constrained with the venting part. So decide carefully.

If you decide to blog under an assumed name, awesome. Just don’t get cocky and assume that’s all the protection you need. You never know who’s going to end up on your page. A vented-about friend or relative who does a vanity search can make for trouble. And sometimes strangers can be creepy. Avoid posting identifying information about friends and family, and maybe even vendors if you want to be extra safe. If your blog is open to any old search, avoid posting things like the location of your ceremony or reception. Especially if you or the groom has a psycho ex in the mix.

Whether your blog is public or private, you may also want to avoid posting full-face photos and your full name. I also highly recommend setting up an e-mail contact that’s completely separate from your real e-mail address. If you get totally famous and score a book deal, you can always reveal yourself later.

Think about commenters.
If your blog is invite-only, this won’t be a problem. But if you want to blog to the world at large, you have a choice or two to make. Allowing comments from anyone can be a very cool experience. It’s amazing to get a few words of encouragement or friendly advice from a total stranger. It’s also surprisingly warm and fuzzy to hear from someone that you’ve inadvertently helped. Finding out that just writing about your tough day turns out to have made someone else’s day a little easier is an amazing experience. Plus you get points in heaven without even trying.

On the other hand, the Internet has trolls in it. Trolls are people who feel small and scared in life, so they bully other people as a way to feel big on the ‘net. They’re supposed to be called “trolls” because they go trolling for reactions, but I think it’s secretly because, like fairy-tale trolls, they’re known for bad facial hair choices and only mating once every hundred years.

Anyway, these dudes feel like big studs if they think they are making a stranger sad or angry. So every now and then one will hit your blog just to insult you. You deal with them pretty much like you deal with “comments” posted by bots from German porn sites. Use your goddess-like power of the delete command.

If you can let random insults from strangers roll off your back, opening your comments up to everyone is usually way worth it. If you’re a little more sensitive, you may only want to allow comments from registered users, or only comments you’ve approved. Who is huge and powerful? You are! No troll can touch you!

Remember that your blog is not your diary.
It feels like a diary and people like to pretend blogs are diaries, but it’s just us here, so let’s not pretend. You’re posting your blog online. Anonymous or not, you’re putting it in a place where you are actively encouraging others to read it. So if your entry for the day is likely to be “La la la I don’t know what 2 say. I found some gunk under my toenail and I hope there’s something cool on TV 2nite. Blah blah brideybridey bride…” maybe that one should go in the diary, you know? There’s no need to test your readers’ patience. It’s totally OK to wait to post until you have stuff to say.

Don’t let the blog wag the dog.
Posting about people you have to deal with who are weird or insane is way fun. It’s way easier to be snarky or make jokes about nightmare vendors than the day where your bridal gown saleswoman was incredibly helpful and your mom and bridesmaids were sweet and amazing. If you’re really getting into blogging, masochism for the sake of writing fodder can be a bigger temptation than you might think. If you catch yourself deliberately strolling through Crazytown just to have something to blog about, it’s time to take a break. Turn off the computer, grab that young man of yours, and concoct an evening so naughty that you’d never blog ab