OK, so we’ve all had that friend in elementary school or junior high school where you like each other so much that you start to look alike, right? You do your hair the same and you wear the same kinds of clothes and half the stuff you do the same you don’t even know whose idea it was.
But then you hit high school, and that gets less fun. Only not everyone realizes it. Have you met these women? All grown up and still ready to dress like you at the drop of a hat? The really freaky ones you can spot and peel off pretty quickly. But every now and then a mostly normal woman still has that copying impulse inside. And it stays hidden right up until something stressful like planning a wedding brings it out.
If it happens to you, it’s pretty freakballs. And pretty frustrating. It’s not like the first grade where you could just point at her and yell “She’s copying me!” Even though that’s mostly what you’ll feel like doing. But you’re a grownup, even if she’s not, so you have to take evasive action instead.
Take a step back.
First, make sure you’re not just making mountains out of chiffon and taffeta molehills. In the end, all weddings are still pretty much alike, you know? You have a bride and groom, vows, a bunch of people in matching outfits,
If, on the other hand, she is also having a handfasting ceremony and a Renaissance-themed reception with jousting and giant turkey legs and she and her husband are also getting matching face tattoos, yup, you may have a case.
If she’s copying, she needs to get the details, so keep them to yourself, and ask your bridesmaids to clam up too, You don’t have to scream “Wouldn’t YOU like to know, Queen Xerox?!” Just go adorably flighty and say something like “Oh, it’s so hard to describe,” or, in a pinch, “We want it to be a surprise.” You have also just turned into The Amazing Woman Who Can Never Remember the Name of Her Dressmaker and Never Has Her Wedding Book with Her. Yes, it’s a long title, but it’s a useful one. You can ask your bridesmaids to clam up too – it’s perfectly fine to claim the “surprise” route if you don’t want to spread gossip or risk word getting back to your copier.
Have a mutual friend run interference.
You can’t make any outright accusations of wedding plagiarism or you will automatically look like the crazy one. Plus, the other bride may not see things that way. She may think she’s getting great ideas from you and not see what’s wrong with using them for her wedding too.
Or she may just inherently love your taste. She sees your plans, then she looks at 14 different wedding magazines and 12 different websites, and by then she doesn’t know where the idea for the undersea wedding with the hanging fish mobiles and the octopus bridesmaids came from, she just knows she likes it best.