Dear Wedding Maven,
I've always wanted to have my bridal party dress up as superheroes in my wedding. Wonder Woman and Superman, things like that that. My friend of 18 years and matron of honor flat out refuses to even try on a costume. The idea to her is absurd. I even offered to modify the costume so that it’s more flattering but she refuses. What should I do? I like being different but should I compromise to make her happy? Even though this is supposed to be my day.
I’m supposed to use it on you, but I’m going to put on the Golden Lasso myself here and give you some difficult truths.
You say you “like being different” but I notice that YOU aren’t the one who wants to wear a costume on your wedding day. Instead, you want to force your friend of 18 years into wearing something that she sees as humiliating.
You ask what you should do so here’s my answer. You and all other brides, should let their bridesmaids wear clothing that it is reasonably priced, flattering and in keeping with the feel and tone of your wedding. If you want a “superhero” themed wedding, then let your matron of honor wear a dress she likes, and provide her with a cape. She can wear the cape during the ceremony, and in some of the pictures.
Problem solved, you get to feel “different” and your friend doesn’t have to feel like the star attraction at a comic book convention.
One final note of truth: the line, “it’s my day” does not excuse you from following the general rules of etiquette and friendship. Use it too often and you may find your wedding punch spiked with kryptonite.
Do you need wedding advice? Do you have a question about wedding etiquette, relationships, or traditions? Write the Wedding Maven at firstname.lastname@example.org.