Dear Wedding Maven
I’m getting married next month and I’m a little concerned about a few of my friends. These friends seem to have given up their real lives in favor of living on Facebook and Twitter. They’re constantly updating their status and sending out Tweets. I like Facebook, too, but they seem to think that everything they do deserves a status update. Which brings me to, my wedding. I really don’t want anyone tweeting my wedding. I don’t want people knowing who was and wasn’t invited, and I don’t want pictures of my wedding dress online while I’m still on my honeymoon. How do I tell these people not to turn my wedding into a Facebook post?
Not anti-social, just anti-social networking
I feel your pain. I’ve found Facebook to be a great way to stay connected to old friends and a very useful marketing tool, but I too wonder about the people who think that others want to read about what they’re watching on TV.
If you’re really concerned about one or two friends, then you can speak to each one directly. Do not turn this into a referendum on their obsessive need to be online. The easiest way to make sure that your request is NOT heard is to make the conversation about your perception of their behavior. Instead make the conversation about their actual behavior, keep your request specific. “Ashton, I know you love Twitter, but would you mind not tweeting at my wedding? I’m worried about hurting people I didn’t invite.”
If you’re having a wedding program, consider putting a note in the program itself. Something along the lines of “We’re so happy that you’re here to celebrate with us. Please be here in mind as well as body and refrain from tweeting, texting and posting during the ceremony and reception.”
It may seem a little too much like a play, but it’s also perfectly acceptable to ask your wedding officiant to remind people that this is a joyful but important event and people should keep their phones off.
Finally, I hope that you have been a good social networker throughout your engagement and kept the online wedding chatter to a minimum.