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5 Questions to Ask Before Choosing Your Groomsmen

Special to OneWed by Kara Horner of

Choosing the members of your wolf pack—or the men who will be the groomsmen in your wedding, in this case—is an important decision in a man’s life. Of course, there are the usual suspects: brothers, close cousins and/or friends (and don’t forget your bride's brother). But before you decide, make sure to consider the size of your wedding and each guy’s ability to commit to the task.

If you’re not 100 percent sure which men to induct into your wedding hall of fame, ask yourself these questions to make the decision a little easier:

  1. Is he a gentleman? Does he get along well with others (namely, your bride, the other members of your wedding party and both sets of parents)? He should be able to strike a balance between entertaining your college roommate at your bachelor party and acting politely around your grandmother on the wedding day.
  2. Is he dependable? Will he be able to show up, on time, and dressed/looking appropriately for important wedding events, such as the rehearsal—and more importantly—the big day?
  3. Does he have the time? Does he live in another state, travel frequently for work or just find out he’s having triplets? Consider whether he’ll have the time to commit to playing such a large role in your wedding.
  4. Can he afford it? Let’s face it. Groomsmen are expected to shell out both time and money for wedding-related events and expenses (including wedding day attire and travel or hotel costs, to name a few).
  5. Can I imagine my wedding day without him? It may seem like a silly question, but don’t ask someone to be in your wedding just because you need an extra guy on “your side.” If he isn’t family or already a good friend, don’t make him feel uncomfortable or obligated by asking him to be one of your groomsmen.

Of course, if he doesn’t fit the bill and you don’t want to hurt his feelings, it doesn’t mean he can’t be a part of your wedding day. It may just mean that he should play another role, such as serving as an usher, a reader, or simply, a wedding guest.

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