Father of the Bride, Is He Feeling Left Out?

By Azure Nelson, Published Sep 10, 2009

Whenever people asked my father how he felt about me, his youngest daughter, getting married he would say “Well, you know, the marriage industry is about disenfranchising men.” Now, perhaps I should explain that in addition to being a grump, my father is also an anthropology professor, so yes, he really does talk like that. Over the years, I’ve gotten pretty good at ignoring my father’s pronouncements, but I actually think he was trying to say something here, he felt left out. Here was this big important event in my life, and his only official role was to write the checks. If your dad has been a little grumpier or more quiet than usual, it may be time to try and involve him a little more. It’s true that your dad probably doesn’t care that much about things like your dress, or your wedding colors, but there are some aspects of the wedding that might be right up his alley. Is he a gardener? Maybe he’d like to voice an opinion on the flowers? Does he like to cook? Maybe you could ask his opinion on the caterer, or your kitchen registry? Is he the family photographer? Maybe he could start the photography research? Maybe you could assign him to find a father/daughter dance song, or the band itself? Maybe he’d like to set up some spreadsheets to help you track expenses or gifts, or RSVPs. If none of this sounds like your dad, then maybe it’s time for you to take a little break from wedding talk and spend some quality time with him talking about something he does care about. Tell us, is your dad helping with the wedding planning?

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