By The OneWed Team,
Published Sep 10, 2009
Two members of the OneWed team discuss the pros and cons of inviting young guests.
I like kids. They’re sweet and everything, and I’m probably going to have one. I just don’t want them at my wedding. When I tell people that, they act like I’ve just said I want to strangle kittens at my wedding. Actually strangling kittens would be less messy than having kids there.
I’m not a monster. I know that some of our guests have young kids and they can’t exactly leave them at home while they come to our destination wedding. I just don’t want kids at the ceremony and I’m asking my guests to leave them with the child care that we’re arranging. I’ve been to weddings with kids and I’ve been to weddings without and I definitely like the first kind better. Kids at weddings are loud and distracting and, at best, sticky. I don’t think it’s adorable when little Shayla cries all through the vows and I don’t think it’s charming and hilarious when little Dallas announces that he has to go to the bathroom just as the bride and groom are about to kiss.
I’ve been thinking about my wedding day since I was little Dallas’ age and I’m only going to get to do this once. Is it really so wrong to want to be able to have a wedding without any high-pitched wailing involved?
I don’t blame the kids for this. They hate being dressed up and they’re bored out of their minds at weddings. If they don’t want to be there, what’s the point in forcing them? I make arrangements for all of us to be happy, including a couple of nice ladies and some toys, storybooks, and playpens, and suddenly my cousin is calling me The Grinch.
I’m not inviting kids to my wedding and I’m glad. If they feel traumatized by being left out and allowed to play instead, they can disinvite me to their weddings when the time comes. But I bet they’ll slip old Auntie Bree an extra drink.
I’m having kids at my wedding. Wait, that sounds wrong. I’m not giving birth to them at my wedding. I’m just planning to have them there. It wouldn’t occur to me not to – in my family, you have a flower girl and a ring bearer and a couple of junior bridesmaids, and that’s just how it is. It’s kind of what the wedding is about to me – the whole clan growing. I also think that big family weddings are one of the ways kids learn how important how family is. I think a lot of kids aren’t in touch with that anymore, and that’s sad.
I know that kids do things wrong and refuse to go down the aisle at the last minute or dump all the flower petals in one big clump instead of making a perfect path. I know they cry and sneeze and pee and leak about everything else you can think of. But in a way that’s part of the fun. I don’t think anything is perfect, my wedding included. I like the idea that I don’t know everything that will happen. If it’s weird or embarrassing now, it’ll be funny later – a memory that the whole family will share and laugh about, and that’s the whole point of a wedding.
And I’m not just saying that because when I was five I went down the aisle with the flower basket on my head.