Marriage Prep: Creating a Romance Ritual

By Azure Nelson, Published May 2, 2010

Special to OneWed from Dr. Jackie Black (adapted from her essay) Common Rituals and Celebrations Rituals and celebrations are one way to intentionally create meaningful connections with special and important events and people. Many people already celebrate birthdays, anniversaries and other holidays. including rituals we may not even recognize as such. Here are some common rituals and celebrations: • Graduations • Bachelor / Bachelorette parties • Bon Voyage parties • Promotion / Retirement • Bridal and Baby Showers • Wrap parties in the Entertainment Industry • Funerals, Memorials, Celebrations of Life • Throwing coins in a fountain • Placing an extra candle on a birthday cake • Bride and Groom feeding each other cake • Sending cards to remember special occasions • Hanging up bird feeders during winter You Can Create Easy Couple Romance Rituals Celebrations and rituals do not have to be involved, complicated or expensive. It is the simple act of honoring your love and the caring you feel for your partner with your intention and attention. Your Romance Ritual is something you decide on together; some specific behavior –something that you do with or say to the other, intentionally; and make an important part of your established routine. If you take the time and the effort to create your Romance Ritual and include it in your routines with each other, you will notice a marked increase in good will, less conflict and hurt feelings, and much more intimacy! If this is something you'd like to try, finding your perfect Romance Ritual should be easy. Sit down with each other and make a list as fast as you can in 12 minutes. Write down everything you can think of that you love and appreciate and that your partner loves and appreciates. At the end of 12 minutes, compare your lists and Voila! You will easily have three or four Romance Rituals to use and interchange for years to come. If you really want to stretch yourself and affair-proof and divorce-proof your marriage, create everyday Romance Rituals; weekly Romance Rituals; morning Romance Rituals and bedtime Romance Rituals! Your Romance Rituals can be as simple as lighting a candle and saying thank your for three special ways you love and cherish your partner or feel gratitude for feeling loved and cared for by your partner. Or every time you walk past each other reach out for a brief moment in a very special way that tour partner understands is your Romance Ritual. The very act of bringing your attention to someone for whom you are grateful can heal deep hurts and serve as important reminders of what you value. Your options are truly endless! Sound like over kill? Please understand that Love is NOT enough! It takes conscious, intentional time, attention and focus on your relationship and your Sweetheart to insure that life, and other people and events don’t negatively impact the life that you love with the love of your life! I invite each partner to create a special ritual to celebrate your Partner every week for the next 4 weeks. Intentionally choosing to celebrate is very powerful! When you get in the habit of experiencing the richness in your life and your love life, and you create celebrations and rituals to mark those events and celebrate people you love, your life will be transformed forever! Try it. It’s worth it. ©2009 Dr. Jackie Black, LLC All rights reserved is a member of the Dr. Jackie Black, LLC family of companies W: E:

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