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Wedding Vow Writing Do’s and Don’ts

Special to OneWed by Kara Horner of

If traditional wedding vows just aren’t for you, writing your own can make your ceremony that much more personal and appropriate for you and your fiancé. If you’re considering writing your own wedding vows, here are some tips to you started.

- Don’t wait until the last minute. Not only are these the words you’ll be saying aloud in front of all of your family and friends, these are the promises you’ll pledge to make to your spouse in your marriage, which means they’re very important. Don’t let that scare you, but make sure to get started early, so you can take your time and carefully think about what you want to say beforehand.

- Do think very carefully about what you’ll say. Think about what you want to pledge to your future spouse and the promises you vow to keep in your marriage. Instead of worrying about what you think people will want to hear you say, start by thinking about what’s most important to you and your fiancé(e). The beauty of personal vows means that they don’t have to be traditional or common. While you don’t need to go out of your way to make them different or quirky, adding some unique elements will make them that much more personal to you and your spouse.

- Don’t overshare. Want to include a story about how you and your future spouse met, your first date or another favorite memory? Go for it. Just don’t recount every single personal detail of your relationship, such as your amazing sex life or feel the need to mention any illegal activities you may enjoy partaking in together. Remember, your guests— especially older family members and work friends—likely won’t appreciate them.

- Do jot it down. Even if you decide to speak from the heart on your wedding day (instead of from written notes), make sure to write down what you want to say beforehand. Writing things down will not only help you commit them to memory and work out any wording kinks beforehand, but you’ll have a backup plan to refer to if your mind happens to go blank, or nerves or emotions get the best of you on the wedding day once it’s your turn to recite your vows.

- Don’t be a comedian. While incorporating some humor may be appropriate, don’t go overboard. Remember, you’re pledging your love and devotion to your future spouse, not trying to entertain your guests. Leave the wisecracks to the toasts and keep yours focused on the occasion.

- Do keep things fairly brief. While you may feel like you could go on…and on and on and on…about how much you love your fiancé(e), try to restrain yourself. Wedding vows should touch on everything you want to say without sounding like you’re reading a book.

- Don’t focus solely on physical traits. While it’s perfectly fine to mention your fiancé(e)’s physical beauty/handsomeness, don’t focus solely on his/her outward appearance. Make sure to mention the personality traits you love about him/her as well.

So what do you think, bridey's? Any more wedding vow Do's and Don'ts you think brides and grooms need to know? Share them below or tweet us up!

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